Anything But Europe #1 – Pu-Ne Rocks!

Welcome to the first part of Anywhere But Europe where we’ve got a job rather quickly. Too quickly. Oh well, it’s off to Asia we go…

My search for a managerial job outside of Europe didn’t exactly go very well. By not very well, I mean I was kicked out of my local Job Centre for wasting their time. Good start. Turns out Google was far more helpful than Sandra at the Job Centre and I managed to apply to a bunch of managerial jobs around the globe. America de Cali in the Colombian second tier appealed to the idiot hipster part of me while a whole bunch of others were added to the list.

And I waited. Days went past and the posts I’d applied for filled up. America decided they wanted someone who could speak actual Spanish rather than virtually speak it. Probably a good idea as telling players to spank the monkey, their mother’s a donkey and that they’re stupid bastards might not have worked. More days passed until out of the blue, I got a call from India.

It was a female voice saying she was Urvi Piramal, chairwoman of Pune FC offering me an interview there and then. After asking me about whether I’d be able to learn Hindi and if I actually knew what football was, she thanked me for my time and said they’d get back to me. Cue more waiting.

And then they only went and offered me the bloody job. So here I am, manager of Pune FC in the Indian National Football League. Not that glorified sideshow Super League. The actual Indian league for actual football. I was delighted. I made hasty plans to uproot to Pune and googled the city to see what’s on offer there. As it turns out, not a huge amount according to Wikipedia. It is the largest learning centre for Japanese in India so that’s a thing.

Pune Welcome

nyway, I headed on over Pune almost instantly, rocking up at the club offices on a sweltering July day only to be met with confused looks. Turns out the Indian football season is on holiday and runs from late December to March. Oops. That’s why you do your homework kids.

Still Urvi introduced me to the club and my assistant who was promptly sacked after trying to explain to me that we have far too many wicket keepers in the squad. I’ve replaced him with a guy who actually knows what football is now so that’s a start. I’ve also managed to find out that Pune FC isn’t even ten years old and hasn’t won a trophy at all in their history so this could be fun. Hopefully I can begin something special here.

Maybe we’ll start with just winning a game first shall we? Anyway, I’ve got five months to kill before the season starts so I think I’ll go brush up on my cricket knowledge.

Until next time.

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